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| I've just been thinking..
There are girls who say that they'll never forgive their boyfriends/husbands if they ever dare cheat on them and I really don't understand how can they have such faith in men so much as to believe that they can find one who'll never ever do something wrong. No matter how happy I may be in a relationship I don't think I can be 100% sure that he'll think of me and only me at all times. Unless I'm with an extremely holy guy whose religion does not allow him to even dare think about it, but it is not quite possible that I will end up with such a guy, for reasons which I shall not go into details about.
Why can't I expect absolute faith in a relationship? If I'm to go on discussing about this, I can probably write an 3000-word essay on it. (Too bad I can't use it for sch!) But to sum it up in simple terms, we're just humans and sometimes our wants can be contradictory. Of cos there'll be a limit to what I can take; although I'm sure how big it is but at least I'm not holding too high an expectation when it comes to the guys. Their ungratefulness, fickle-mindedness..
I'm feeling totally fine right now if anyone's wondering. No particular reason why I'm writing this except that I've just got the mood to. | | |
| I whine too much about cos I have got no burning passion in anything that's considered "useful". I really, sincerely wish that I do. I admire people who knows what they want right from the beginning. I can't do anything in-depth, I'm pretty good at very general stuff though but unfortunately at uni level, I don't get that kind of luxury.
So what do I like and want to do? Basically just most of the stuff that girls like, but I'm sort of at the hardcore level. My favorite pastime is looking for things to love then and get my hands on them.
Yes, I must have it, I'll tell myself.
Indulging myself in pampered bliss and then whip up something yummy in my little kitchen/bakery when the mood strikes. I'm not such a bad cook when I want to.
And not forgetting having people to share all my love with.
I'll die to have this as my lifelong job even though my parents will probably flip hearing about such great aspirations of mine.
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| I just blogged about how I gotta start mugging my ass off but right now I'm faced with the exact same familiar situation I keep catching myself in. Last min essay writing madness! I just got the feeling that whatever I should do for the rest of the semester, it won't be an easy thing, at all!
I need to rush a 2000 word essay by tomorrow, and I feel like baking right now. And the worse thing is, I think I'm gonna do the latter first.
Kill me. Please.
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| To: Whoever out there listening
I know I haven't been a good girl/student.
But please allow me to survive through the last 3 weeks of the semester..please protect me from the all my subjects and not killed by any of them.
I desperately need to do this right. Can I do what I need to do?
I want to list out all the things that I need to do and those that I should stop doing for the time being. But I don't want to because I'm not sure if I'll really stick to it. And I'll feel shitty about myself again if I don't. I wish I'm not like what I am right now. I often question why am I the way I am, why am I created like this. I can't help feeling sad for the life I lead though I know very well that those who lead better lives than I do actually do something to achieve them instead of feeling sorry for themselves. What i don't understand is why ain't I doing anything that I know I should doing? I'm not suicidal (definitely!) but I don't like my existence one bit. | | |
| It's weird how people get extremely sentimental just before separation. I know don't exactly meet up with my cousin and his girlfriend very often here but now that the both of them are leaving, I'm getting this really sad feeling in me..Another familiar face gone. Another less friend to meet. Kind of feeling like i'm being left behind? | | |
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